Leading With Character

by James E. Loehr & Caren Kenney

Legacy is the trace you leave. Every life leaves a trace, a trace that may exist for generations. Your legacy is the sum total of the impact your life made on the lives of others – and, in many ways, the trace that their life makes on others.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that as all these people describe your legacy, not a single one, from any part of your life, spends significant time referencing your intelligence, titles, competence, wealth, power, achievements, academic credentials, or celebrity

A leader’s ability to make sound moral and ethical judgments and follow through on them, time and again, forms his or her character. Corporate governance should (but often does not) value this ability at the highest level.

As a quick exercise, pick the three phrases from the list above where your gut reaction was strongest. Now reflect on these questions: Can you pinpoint the origin of your intense emotional response? How convinced are you that your gut response is right? Have you ever considered that your gut might be wrong? Are your reactions based on facts or feelings? Do you consider what your gut tells you to be a personal belief or a verifiable truth? If you consider it to be a verifiable truth, how knowledgeable are you of all the facts on both sides of the issue? What’s the chance that your gut response could ever be reversed? How about when you’re confronted with contradictory evidence? Do you uniformly respect the intellect, experience, and character of those on the same side of these issues as you, and who believe as strongly as you do?

Do you know people who feel just as strongly as you do about such issues but in the exact opposite direction? What makes you sure that your judgment is right and theirs wrong? Do you respect their intellect, experience, and character, though you strongly disagree with them?

Questions like these point to one of the flaws in our moral operating system. When our beliefs are false yet loaded with powerful emotion (as they so often are), they masquerade as fact-based truth.

Me first: That’s precisely what the morality system we all inherited is programmed to consider. Becoming a leader where morality – in short, our treatment of others – is afforded the highest priority demands a trained response, one that requires dedicated energy investment throughout our lives.

— Extreme sports, not acting in the initial response. Thing about and trying to overcome it

Introduction

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The size and ornamental detail of the monument were always far less moving to me than the words etched on them: kind … loving … faithful … integrity.

With just a few concentrated minutes of soulful reflection a day, something nearly miraculous happens: You actually build your ethical and moral character.

— Talks about first job in cemetery and the 3 grave robbers who threatened his life if he told on them. Beggining his passion in finding character

As leaders, we are culture creators; leading with character means to create, consciously and intentionally, a culture where ethics and morality are celebrated, and given the highest priority. Every word, every gesture, every decision forms a mark, however big or small, on our character, as well as on the culture we create around us.

a core thesis of this book: Leaders actually have incredible power to prevent catastrophes like the financial meltdown of 2007–2008 from occurring in the first place. Whether they exercise that power, individually or collectively, is of course a very different matter.

The strength of our Character Muscles is best revealed when they are put under pressure.

CHAPTER 1: What Does “Leading with Character” Mean?

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When I reflect on my life, my parents, my three sons, the business leaders I have come to know, the hundreds of athletes I have been privileged to work with (including 17 world 1s in their respective sports or competitions); when I reflect on my friends, partners, business associates, employees, and personal mentors, the issue of moral strength towers over all other considerations

Adversity does not build character, it reveals it. —James Lane Allen

TRAINING THE CHARACTER MUSCLES OF LEADERS

According to the June 2017 issue of Harvard Business Review, the five-year period from 2012 to 2016 saw a 36% increase in the number of CEOs dismissed for ethical lapses, compared to 2007–2011. This conduct included fraud, bribery, sexual indiscretion, insider trading, and more. In 2018, CEO dismissals for ethical lapses exceeded dismissals for financial performance or board struggles for the first time in history.

We have fewer good, actual human examples to inspire us. So many of us have numbed ourselves to accepting poor character in our leaders – and in ourselves! – if and when it serves our needs and wants.

If our leaders are not generally of high character, then it’s a real problem for all of us.

As most C-suite executives will readily admit, it’s one thing to recognize the threat of character deficiency – and quite another to provide a viable solution to diminish or eliminate the threat

First: One’s character is best understood as specific competencies that can be trained (as referenced earlier) in the same way that muscles of the physical body are trained. Character strengths, such as integrity, trustworthiness, compassion, justice, and so forth, are developed much the way that bicep or quadricep strength is acquired: through energy investment. Converting weak muscles of character into strengths requires strategic energy investment in the muscles targeted for growth. Detailing that process represents an important component of this training system.

The second fundamental idea: Character is best thought of as existing in two distinct but related categories of competency – performance character competency and moral character competency. Performance character consists of specific acquired strengths usually necessary for high achievement and performance: focus, persistence, resilience, confidence, positivity, decisiveness, courage, tough-mindedness, ambition, reliability, discipline, fortitude

muscles of performance character are not linked in any way to principles of right or wrong; there is no connection between them and morality.

Kenneth Lay, Martha Stewart, Ivan Boesky, Michael Milken, John Riggs, Dennis Kozlowski, Jeffrey Skilling, Bernard Ebbers, Bernie Madoff, Barry Bonds, Harvey Weinstein, Les Moonves, and Alex Cora all possessed an impressive portfolio of performance character strengths. None of their performance character muscles, however, protected them from serious lapses in moral judgment or ethical behavior.

ethical/moral character – consists of highly specific acquired competencies (muscles) that support ethical behavior and enhance moral judgment and reasoning. Moral character reflects the values we hold in the treatment of others.

A tenet of this book is that leading with ethical character is the more important dimension of organizational leadership for creating and sustaining a brilliant legacy.1

Performance character drives what we achieve. Moral character drives how we achieve it.

When was the last time your ethical strength was seriously tested? What made the situation so difficult for you? Did you pass or fail the test?

Perhaps you falsified information on your professional résumé. Or you fired someone who didn’t deserve it. Was your failure in the judgment itself or in not following through on the judgment? To what extent did fatigue, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and so forth contribute to your character failure?

Let’s do some more introspection. Have you ever driven your car knowing your blood alcohol level was likely above the legal limit? Did you consider the risks to others? Have you ever accelerated your car to dangerous speeds, run red lights, driven carelessly because you were angry or frustrated or simply in a rush?

behavior of Raheem Brennerman, CEO of Blacksands Pacific Group, who reportedly defrauded financial institutions of what eventually added up to more than $300 million, leading to federal charges in 2017 of bank fraud, wire fraud, and conspiracy?

When moral muscles are numbed, nearly any aberrant behavior becomes acceptable

“motivated reasoning” is the tendency to cherry-pick facts that support conclusions and beliefs we’re vested in maintaining.

Researchers Ann Tenbrunsel and David Messick contend that one of the chief factors in unethical behavior is self-deception, which leads to a phenomenon they term “ethical fading.”

In the journal Social Justice Research, they write: “Self-deception allows one to behave self-interestedly while, at the same time, falsely believing that one’s moral principles were upheld. The result of this internal con game is that the ethical aspects of the decision ‘fade’ into the background, the moral implications obscured.”

They argue that ethics training in organizations is doomed to limited success so long as course designers fail to acknowledge the psychological propensity of employees toward (unconscious) self-deception – the lies we tell ourselves and the secrets we keep from ourselves, which enables a range of unethical decisions and behaviors.

THE GRADUAL NUMBING OF MORAL MUSCLES

coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes: that belief that you are inadequate and/or undeserving of your role or success, and that it’s only a matter of time before others will find out and expose you as a fraud

Leaders who experience Imposter Syndrome are not by definition unethical, or even noticeably morally deficient

So why do we include such types here? Because it’s not just character development that has changed somewhat in our current world; it’s also the nature of leadership

Leaders are now continuously in the spotlight

Imposter Syndrome and lack of confidence may also limit one’s willingness to take risks and to be creative, agile, and disruptive – all key attributes of a successful entrepreneur and business leader.

THE DARK SIDE

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Imposter Syndrome: Self-doubt often results in a lack of trust and confidence in others, and research suggests that this can impact decision-making and ethical standards

We begin with seemingly benign breaches of our moral boundaries, and over time, it becomes easier and easier to get what we want and not feel guilty. One day we become shocked by how far we have drifted morally.

Researcher Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University, contends that our behavior is fundamentally driven by two opposing motivations: We want to view ourselves as possessing good moral character. We want to benefit as much as possible from taking short cuts – better known as cheating.

We deploy a variety of ingenious methods to dismantle our guilt/remorse system, thus supporting what Ariely calls our “fudge factor”: the ability to do immoral things (e.g., cheating) while still feeling good about ourselves.

Acting morally is not a sometime goal. It is an all-the time goal.

A core objective of this book is to equip leaders with the tools necessary to determine both the size and permeability of their moral circles.

The two principal tools to help you identify those two factors, and also to reverse the numbing process, motivated reasoning, and ethical fading are: Increased awareness The creation and deployment of a Personal Credo

A small circle with a porous boundary might represent a child with a very rigid morality system who is always getting into trouble. A large circle with a barely porous boundary might represent a libertarian who seeks maximum freedom and autonomy but is skeptical of authority and state power.

Highlighted Image: Image depicting how a person’s morality system operates within boundaries that define acceptable and unacceptable behavior. The behavior occurring inside the circle is morally right and acceptable; outside the circle is wrong and unacceptable.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. —Mark Twain

THE DARK SIDE

To rally ourselves to meet the moral challenges we repeatedly face, and to understand what’s at stake when we fail to rally ourselves, we need to confront the truth about our dark side.

Starting in 1961, Stanley Milgram, a Yale psychologist, conducted a series of tests, the results of which were published in 1963

— Electric shocks, where 2/3 participants administered 450 volts when the subject got a wrong answer. Tested authority of figures

According to Milgram, almost everyone follows orders because they were given by an authority figure. Our willingness to obey is ingrained in us from our early childhood. In the article, “The Perils of Obedience,” Milgram asserted that individuals obey when they believe the authority figure will assume responsibility for the consequences of the individual’s actions (“agency theory”)

Milgram’s experiment, with minimal variation, has been repeated across a variety of cultures, yielding more or less similar results; in some of the newer studies, obedience rates were actually higher than Milgram’s. In 2015, for example, a research team from Poland replicated Milgram’s study and discovered that little had changed in the last half-century

As reported in Social Psychological and Personality Science, the researchers found that 90% of participants were willing to administer what they believed was the highest level of shock.

More than a quarter of the executives surveyed said they would use their professional discretion to make accounting adjustments to hit their desired earnings target. —Eugene Soltes, author of Why They Do It

1990s in the Journal of Business Ethics, “The majority were of strong personal integrity and intelligence, individuals who have climbed the ladder through hard work and ‘keeping their noses clean.’ But just at the moment of seemingly ‘having it all,’ they seemed to throw it all away by engaging in an activity which is wrong, which they knew was wrong, which if it would be discovered would lead to their downfall, and which they mistakenly believed they had the power to conceal.

Without moral integrity, our ability to live an ethical and moral life simply ceases. Because of this, moral integrity represents a whopping 50% of our moral character. Why do I say 50%? Let’s keep it simple. 50% is determining the right thing to do; the remaining 50% is doing it.

2011 book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, Roy Baumeister and John Tierney, drawing on their own research and nearly 100 studies, argued that willpower works like a muscle, and that regular “exercise” boosts its strength

Willpower, Baumeister and Tierney contend, can be used to build character

Willpower draws down mental energy; that is, it’s a limited resource

Regardless of whether Baumeister and Tierney’s ego depletion construct is confirmed to be valid, it is clear that integrity is linked to willpower and self-control.

For nearly three decades at our Institute, we have helped individuals make significant life changes by controlling their energy production through improvements in nutritional intake, sleep, hydration, movement, and so forth. These are all important

But the greatest predictor of successful change, the “x factor” most likely to rally willpower, is purpose

— Leading with character journal

CHAPTER 3: Who Is the True Architect of Our Character?

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we discovered that the more that participants linked their desired change to their core values and a purpose bigger than themselves, the greater the probability that sufficient willpower would be rallied to support successful change; for instance, when your purpose is to be a better father, it becomes easier to get up and work out early in the morning to have more energy and engagement with your kids. Put another way, the more that “doing the right thing” could be linked to a deeply felt purpose beyond the individual’s self-interest, the likelier it was that they would recruit the moral strength needed to do it

(e.g., Dr. Li Wenliang, the Chinese physician who tried to warn others about the deadly coronavirus/COVID-19 and then died from the virus), and so forth. Moral integrity, willpower, moral courage, and purpose are intimately bound together. All can be strengthened with training.

USING SHAME TO DEMONSTRATE THE TWO ARMS OF MORALITY

Shame is part of the machinery of morality. It is deep distress caused by doing something you regret, painfully

POTENTIAL FLAWED INPUTS

Our Inner Voice calls us out. You’re spinning. You’re making stuff up. You’re hiding from the truth. That voice, when properly trained, can aid us whenever and wherever moral issues are involved. If this voice is not trained, then it grows dangerously silent. By failing to recognize its value, we naturally fail to nourish it, and soon we don’t have access to it. And once this voice, this crucial broadcaster of our “crap detector,” has been turned off, leading with character is no longer attainable.

Various flawed inputs that influence character include the following. Fake News and Moral Reasoning

Importantly, when we judge incoming information to be legitimately fact-based, our “crap detector” is less likely to be alerted.

When our personal beliefs and biases masquerade as factual knowledge – that is, as a form of internal fake news whose factuality is more dubious than we suspect – our critical, questioning voice remains dormant, which compromises our moral reasoning (e.g., you fail to question your belief that going to the bar for a drink will not be a problem)

Flawed Parental Inputs

When we poll clients who attend our programs at the Institute, the overwhelming majority report that the greatest single influence on their sense of right and wrong was their parents, and most readers of this book likely feel the same. Perhaps the greatest gift is to be blessed with parents who are models of extraordinary moral character.

Consider for a moment whether your ethical flaws are like those of your parents – for instance, you tend to withdraw love as a manipulation to get what you want; you are condescending to those less financially fortunate. To what extent do these same issues surface in your corporate life – for instance, you are always respectful to superiors but not necessarily to those below you on the corporate ladder. If this is so, have you found a way to correct them?

Also: Are your character traits a reaction to your parent’s flaws?

Flawed Cultural Inputs

Culture reflects the attitudes and behavior of a social group. Do you think the culture of a country club or a street gang influences its members’ sense of right and wrong?

Flawed Religious Inputs

Groups who attend our training programs consistently rank religious inputs as the second most powerful influence on the formation of their character, just behind parental inputs.

I asked her, “If you could eliminate all Muslims from the Earth with the single push of a button, would you?” After a brief pause, she said, “Yes. I would be doing God’s will.”

how could church leaders – people who also went through rigorous religious and moral training and who, for one reason or another, rose to a level of great moral and executive authority and power – knowingly cover up such atrocities, and in many ways guarantee that they continue against new waves of defenseless victims? The alarming but obvious answer: Even the most holy among us are vulnerable to moral collapse

Flawed Mindset Inputs

There is reality – and then there’s our version of reality

“We are creative narrators of stories that tend to allow us to do what we want and that justify what we have done.” Many psychologists, particularly Carol Dweck, refer to this as “mindset.

Suppose our mindset insists to us that, hey, everyone in business cuts corners and crosses moral lines; that businesses can’t succeed if some moral lines are not crossed; that most leaders are selfish; that kindness and compassion are weaknesses; and on and on. Such beliefs represent glitches (coding errors) in our moral mindset

Flawed Emotional Inputs

Flawed Survival Inputs

Intense fear for our own well-being can be a formidable contaminant in our moral processing

Flawed Fatigue Inputs

It should be obvious by now that fatigue can crash our moral system in a significant way. One more agonizing programming glitch!

Flawed Need Inputs

How do strong needs for approval, attention, recognition, love, affection, self-esteem, and so forth impact our moral compass?

You are not right because people agree with you; you are right because your facts and reasoning are right.

A Personal Credo is an intentionally crafted ethical and moral document that essentially becomes, after deep and exhaustive reflection, the ultimate source code for any ethical or moral deliberation.

THE VOICES OF MORALITY

Our brain consists of two built-in “advisory” voices

The first voice comes from an intuitive processor, referred to as “System 1” by psychologist and bestselling author Daniel Kahneman. System 1 operates automatically and instinctively

The second built-in advisory voice, referred to by Kahneman as “System 2,” is one we can consult, though it takes considerably more time to come to a definitive answer

Most of its operations are done consciously; before any decision is rendered, consultation with an array of sources usually takes place. Those sources include core beliefs, core values, and any intentionally developed moral operating documents, such as a Personal Credo

WHICH VOICE IS THE BEST ADVISOR?

we should – time permitting – lead moral inquiry with the cognitive system. That means discounting our gut response for a period of time – shutting it off.

At the Institute, we encourage our clients to consult their well-fortified, intentionally constructed Personal Credo, which consciously, deliberately establishes a hierarchy of values and a highest purpose in life.

This book seeks to move the moral operating principles contained in one’s Personal Credo from deliberative and conscious (System 2) to reflective and intuitive (System 1), with intentional daily training

CHAPTER 3 Who Is the True Architect of Our Character?

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. —William Ernest Henley, “Invictus”

Which choice more accurately reflects your perception of the origin of your moral code? I’m not certain of the origin of my core values and beliefs, and even less certain about how they were formed. My moral code just seemed to evolve naturally without much conscious intervention from me. I take full ownership of the moral code I use in determining right from wrong. I own it because I have been actively building and maintaining it for years. It has been created, modified, and deployed with full intentionality

Following are 10 questions for you to reflect on. Write your answers in the accompanying Leading with Character journal, in a separate notebook, or on paper. Be as thoughtful and honest as possible, knowing that you can destroy and discard any of your writing that you would not want anyone else to see. As you reflect on it now, who is the true author/owner of the moral code you use to determine right from wrong? Is it still your parents, your religious teachers, the culture you were brought up in, and so forth? At what point in your life, if ever, did you consciously and intentionally create your own personal code of ethics? Put another way, when did you assume responsibility for the beliefs, values, and principles that guide your moral decisions and actions at work and at home? If you are a deeply religious person, are your religious beliefs aligned with the moral character strengths presented in Chapter 1 – kindness, love, honesty, gratitude, generosity, patience, trustworthiness, and so forth? Where on the scale of importance is your moral character (e.g., your treatment of others, your respect for those who hold different belief(s)) in the hierarchy of your religious beliefs and values? Have you ever seriously questioned or examined the moral beliefs, values, and traditions handed down to you from others? If so, did it lead you to change any of your beliefs and values? Which beliefs and values, upon examination, have you kept or changed? Are you aware of flaws in your process for determining what you should or shouldn’t do morally (e.g., a propensity to use flawed logic; a “skill” to con yourself, guilt-free, into doing or getting what you really want; etc.). Explain. When you make a moral decision, what do you call on to make the judgment? Explain. Do you rely more on reason or emotions to “get it right” morally? How important are your gut feelings? Does your heart or your head play the dominant role in your moral deliberations? As you reflect on the big moral decisions you’ve made as a leader, which played a more dominant role: being tough-minded or being compassionate? To what extent do you suspect your moral judgment is negatively influenced by hidden needs and wants that reside outside your ordinary awareness? Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Where did those questionable thoughts come from?” or “What made me say such a hurtful or cruel thing?” Consider your most recent moral dilemma as a leader. Bring your deliberative process into the full light of consciousness by writing it out. Was your decision made quickly or slowly? Was it more feeling-based or fact-based? Were feelings and facts not so easily separated? Did you do what you determined to be the right thing? Did you let factors gain influence that could have – maybe should have – been set aside? In retrospect, did you make the right decision?

— Leading with character journal

Beliefs that are not allowed to be questioned become relegated to the realm of superstition. Courage to question paves the way to truth.

MORAL JUDGMENT AND OXYTOCIN

In 2011, Simon Baron-Cohen, professor of developmental psychopathology at the University of Cambridge, published The Science of Evil, which argued that evil is the consequence of blocked empathy and compassion

For Baron-Cohen, empathy is the most valuable moral resource in the world; it represents a universal solvent for evil

include kindness, compassion, caring, and trust, all of which possess the same neuropeptide oxytocin

CHAPTER 4 Who Are We Becoming in the Chase to the Top?

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. —George Bernard Shaw

In your quest to lead with character, consider these questions: What am I chasing? Why am I chasing it? Who am I becoming as a consequence of the chase? Who are those that I lead becoming?

What are you chasing? Why are you chasing it? Who are you and all those you are leading becoming as a consequence of the chase?

It’s called Self-Determination Theory (SDT). According to this theory, who we are to become is not something that’s innately acquired, but internally self-determined. That is, Our fate resides not in the discovery of what lies within us, but in the active process of creating it.

WHERE SHOULD WE LOOK FOR ANSWERS?

FROM TRUE SELF TO BEST SELF

An alternative to looking for one’s true self is looking for one’s “best self.” According to our clients, this search produces a trove of insights. Here’s how it works: Take a few minutes and reflect on when you are most proud of yourself; on when you are the very best you can be as a person. This is not a fantasy “wish I could be” exercise. It is about you assessing when you are the best you can be in the real world. After all, we all become the best version of ourselves from time to time

It’s sometimes helpful to think of the best you have to offer physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Reflect on when your best self emerged in stressful or challenging situations. Now, considering when you are most proud of yourself, write down six one-word descriptors that best capture who you really are in these moments.

These two reflective exercises accomplish several goals. They remind us how important moral character is to true success in life. They bring us face to face with the core values that represent the building blocks of our Personal Credo. They help us to answer the “chasing questions” asked at the beginning of this chapter.

The reference point for who we are at our best and how we want to be remembered after we are gone is our treatment of others.

CHOOSE YOUR PURPOSE CAREFULLY

In my previous book, The Only Way to Win, I examined the fake belief that great achievements are the key to lasting happiness, stable self-esteem, strong moral character, and enduring success in life.

The most important work we do with our clients, unquestionably, is helping them to connect to their deepest values and to a truly meaningful purpose.

When our ultimate “why” is the well-being of those we lead or those our company serves, a seismic shift occurs in everything we do and say.

When we put the needs of others ahead of our own, when we display caring, compassion, and respect for others instead of indulging ourselves, when issues of justice, fairness, integrity, and kindness outrank personal ambition, wealth, and social status, it nourishes not only those we lead but also whatever business we are in.

evidence mounts that companies that expanded their purpose to include improving the well-being of those that work for them – termed “Deliberately Developmental Organizations” by Harvard researchers Lisa Lahey and Robert Kegan – create a win/win proposition, a win both for shareholders and employees.

“Firms of Endearment,” returned 1,026% for investors over the 10 years ending June 30, 2006, compared to 122% for the S&P 500 over the same time period

When a leader fully embraces a purpose that includes taking care of his or her people, when the “how we do it” of a business is given priority equal to or greater than the “what we do,” we see positive trends in talent attraction and retention, employee engagement, and profitability.

Would you be as excited to help others if no one knew the help came from you?

Can human beings find real fulfillment and well-being without knowing the “why,” or purpose, behind what they are chasing? Can we find sustained happiness when our reason for chasing is feeling good ourselves – that is, maximizing our own pleasure and minimizing our own pain? Put another way: Can a hedonistic life ever truly be a fulfilling life? (It’s a question that’s been considered for thousands of years, beginning with the Greek philosophers Epicurus and Aristippus.)

As the Dalai Lama expressed so eloquently, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

What we chase in life is far less important than our reason for chasing it.

When you expect others to view you as an elite, you unknowingly reveal your character deficit in humility.

To give an example, the counterbalancing force to the agonist muscle of humility is confidence (the antagonist). Humility without confidence breeds insecurity. Likewise, the muscle of confidence without humility breeds arrogance.

Highlighted Image: Image of a physical balance for balancing character muscles -the balancing/counterbalancing relationship between people.

Highlighted Image: Image of a physical balance depicting how to balance caring for others with pure honesty. For many people, caring for others represents a higher moral value than honesty.

An objective of American governance is balance – between the agonist of freedom (the prime mover) and the antagonist of fairness. Within the two dominant players, the Republican and Democratic parties, reside a multitude of agonist and antagonist forces. In broad terms, the prime muscle for Republicans is freedom, which moves them toward personal responsibility, personal initiative, and self-determination. Laws exist essentially to protect personal freedoms. Because laws tend to restrict personal freedoms, the fewer the better. The American Constitution represents the ultimate source code for governance.

Highlighted Image: Image of a physical balance depicting the scale of balance in politics. The prime muscle for Republicans is freedom, and the prime mover for Democrats is fairness.

The prime mover for Democrats is fairness, which motivates them toward just treatment for all, equal opportunities and privileges for all, and equal protections for all

One of the greatest failures of leadership is “kicking the can down the road.” Not having the courage to deal with the pain now – letting future leaders deal with it.

Highlighted Image: Image of a physical balance depicting how to balance power with compassion. People holding power should also be compassionate, even though they need to be tough-minded.

Highlighted Image: Image of a physical balance depicting how to balance power with compassion. People holding power should also be compassionate, even though they need to be tough-minded.

Moral intelligence – doing the right thing at the right time – is acquired much in the same way a gymnast learns to execute a complex mount on the balance beam

As I wrote at the start of this chapter, we human beings love to chase. We frequently don’t stop to ask ourselves, mid-chase, critical questions, such as: What am I chasing? Why am I chasing it? Who am I – and who are those I lead – becoming as a consequence of the chase?

For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, “It might have been.” —John Greenleaf Whittier

As a human being, you have no choice about the fact that you need a philosophy. Your only choice is whether you define your philosophy by a conscious, rational, disciplined process of thought and scrupulously logical deliberation – or let your subconscious accumulate a junk heap of unwarranted conclusions, false generalizations, undefined contradictions, undigested slogans, unidentified wishes, doubts and fears, thrown together by chance, but integrated by your subconscious into a kind of mongrel philosophy and fused into a single, solid weight: self-doubt, like a ball and chain in the place where your mind’s wings should have grown. —Ayn Rand

“Credo” is Latin for “I believe” and refers to a fundamental set of beliefs that guide behaviors.

It’s important to note that while beliefs are notions we hold to be true, they may or may not have moral ramifications; they represent our interpretation of the world as we have come to experience it

We experience the sun rising and setting every day; we develop a belief that the sun will rise and set tomorrow. If we don’t experience the sun rising or setting, we assume it was cloudy, we slept through it, we simply missed it, or we disregard or purge our observation altogether.

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd. —Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals

When we prioritize our beliefs, we begin to form our values. Beliefs represent our convictions about what we hold to be true; our values prioritize them according to their order of importance. Put another way, beliefs become our roadmap for reality; values become our guide to what’s truly important.

As our experience repeatedly teaches us, our moral navigation system possesses serious flaws, yet we continue to trust it to guide us in the most important journey of our lives – namely, “getting home” morally. How do you go from trusting this system to verifying it? From automatically accepting this system to vetting it rigorously, intentionally? You create a Personal Credo document.

REFLECTIVE RESISTANCE Before you begin the process of building your Personal Credo, you must first actively resist the powerful urge to go through this process quickly. If you do, you will not gain its profound benefit.

Personal Credo–building is deliberative and intentional. This thoughtful process requires you to set aside time in a quiet location to build and refine this document. If you speed through the steps little, if anything, will come of it. Remember: Three to six weeks of dedicated training are required to increase the strength of physical muscles of the body. Strengthening character muscles and building the neurological architecture (neuropathways) supportive of those muscles take time, as well. Reading this chapter is but one training input. Writing down your first answers is another. Constructing a Personal Credo built to last and strong enough to withstand the forces of life simply cannot be done quickly. It will become a lifelong process of refining, recalibrating, re-evaluating. We must fight our inner urge to go fast, resist the temptation to get it done and get on to the next thing. Failure to allow sufficient time for intentional, soulful, reflective pauses guarantees failure to lead with character. The document you are about to create is the lens through which every moral decision may be vetted. Because your Personal Credo represents the clearest, most accurate, self-determined articulation of your core beliefs, core values, mission, and purpose in life, it becomes your ultimate source code for determining right from wrong, for navigating the moral storms of life. Your Personal Credo is your best effort to rise above any flawed familial, cultural, or religious inputs, to transcend blind spots, sloppy thinking, faulty values and beliefs, to rigorously confront character weaknesses and imbalances, and to assume full responsibility for all decisions that impact your treatment of others. Your Personal Credo is not a written document to be used as a reference guide. It is designed to be embedded at the core of your neuroprocessing system. It needs to become the centerpiece of your worldview, your ultimate reality, your core mindset. It is to become nothing short of your internalized roadmap for a truly successful life. Your Personal Credo represents the scorecard of highest value to you. When you score well, as measured by the dictates of this document, it means your life is fundamentally aligned with who you most aspire to be, with your Best Moral Self.

Same for tough-mindedness, positivity, confidence, persistence, and other performance character assets. Credo Building Blocks

Credo Building Blocks (The graphic does not show a complete list. Note that the bottom two rows are Performance Character Strengths and the three rows above them are Ethical/Moral Character Strengths.)

COACHING YOU THROUGH THE CREDO-BUILDINGPROCESS

Let’s start with a commitment that involves two investments: energyand time.

Time means investing a minimum of 10 minutes every day for the duration of the training. A minimum investment of 90 days is required to get this mission off the launch pad; another 60 days is required to ensure success.

The writing topics for each of the first 90 days and the following 60 days are pre-determined, and the schedule must be maintained. If the assignment for Day 27 is missed, find the time to make it up. The creation of your Personal Credo should be completed in as close to 90 days as possible. It is fine for you to write longer than 10 minutes – and some exercises are meant to be completed over multiple days – but 10 minutes is the minimum required for each day. Avoid completing multiple assignments at one time, or on the same day. Business travel, vacation days, personal emergencies should not exempt you from your training. If you miss a day or two, make up the assignments as soon as you can and do your best to stay on schedule.

CHAPTER 6 Embedding Your Personal Credo and Supporting It with Habits

If I always appear prepared, it is because before entering an undertaking, I have meditated long and have foreseen what might occur. It is not genius that reveals to me suddenly and secretly what I should do in circumstances unexpected by others; it is thought and preparation. —Napoleon Bonaparte

The habit-building process we employ at the Institute can be summarized by the formula H = PTR3: H = the Habit we wish to acquire. P = Purpose. When the habit we wish to build is in alignment with our core purpose and values, we are more likely to make the necessary withdrawals from our energy reserves to build the habit. T = Trigger word or cue. A stimulus must connect to a response. R1 = Response. We wish to make the desired habit response be automatic. R2 = Reward. A positive payoff is needed to complete the habit loop. Any feel-good experience – fulfillment, joy, happiness, self-satisfaction, self-gratification, pleasure, and so on – will suffice. R3 = Repetition. Repetition strengthens the connection between stimulus and response.

Highlighted Image: A graphic summarizing the habit acquisition process. H is for the Habit of journal writing; P is the Purpose; T is for the Trigger to start the sequence; R1 is the actual response; R2 is the reward you feel; and R3 is the repetition of the sequence.

CHAPTER 7 When Leaders Become Heroes

Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lives our growth and freedom. —Viktor Frankl

Heroism is defined more by the intent of the action than the action itself. When the intent transcends self-interest, and is driven by genuine concern for the welfare of others, the action qualifies as heroic regardless of whether the intended outcome was achieved.

If Flight 1549 had crashed into the Hudson River and there were no survivors, Sully’s action could still, because of his intent, be considered heroic. There is more to consider, however. If Sully had been drinking or partying the night before, if he had willfully neglected his normal sleep, eating, and performance routines, then the calculus for his heroism would change dramatically. In that case, his intent could still be noble; but if his life choices compromised his flying skills (his response to the crisis), resulting in a crash, he would be immediately disqualified as a hero.

Isn’t heroism best understood not as a single visible act but as countless, largely invisible acts that enable the heroic action to become reality?

Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones. —Winston Churchill

How would you feel if, at the end of your life, the person you actually were met the person you could have become? Living a brilliant purpose brings energy, fulfillment, and well-being to your life. Living a brilliant character legacy brings energy, fulfillment, and well-being to the lives of others long after you are gone.

They are all founded on the ideas of treating others the way we want to be treated; putting the welfare of others before our own; making how we treat others in the chase to the top more important than getting to the top.

For leaders, the most important takeaway from this book, I believe, is that we are all vulnerable to lapses in character, with potentially disastrous consequences – yet each of us possesses the power to intentionally convert moral weakness into strength

APPENDIX A: CHARACTER TRAITS Every one of these character strengths – either performance strengths (P) or moral strengths (M) – is an acquired disposition. 1. Adaptability: You adjust well to changing conditions (performance strength (P)). 2. Adventurous Spirit: You seek exciting challenges for personal exploration (P). 3. Affection: You openly show warmth and caring toward others (moral strength (M)). 4. Ambition: You are goal-oriented and goal-directed (P). 5. Authenticity: Your Public and Private Voices are aligned; you are genuine (M). 6. Compassion: You feel a deep, abiding concern for the suffering of others, combined with the aspiration to do something to relieve it (M). 7. Competitiveness: You enjoy pitting your skills against the skills of others (P). 8. Confidence: You believe in your abilities (P). 9. Creativity: You generate original, spontaneous thinking and solutions (P). 10. Critical Thinking: You think in a reality-based way (P). 11. Curiosity: You are inquisitive; you want to understand how things work (P). 12. Decisiveness: You make definitive choices (P). 13. Dependability: You can be counted on to meet your commitments (M). 14. Determination/Persistence/Grit: You rally your strength of will to overcome obstacles; you refuse to give up (P). 15. Discernment: You seek the deeper causes of things (P). 16. Empathy: You experience what others are thinking and feeling (M). 17. Engagement with Others: You bring your full and best energy to the present moment in your interactions with others (M). 18. Focus: You can control your attention (P). 19. Forgiveness: You are able to clear the record for those who have harmed you (M). 20. Fortitude: You fight relentlessly for what’s right (P). 21. Generosity: You share whatever you have with others (M). 22. Gratitude: You feel sincere appreciation for what you have (M). 23. Honor: Your actions and decisions reflect the highest ethical standards (M). 24. Humility: You are modest and highly aware of your shortcomings (M). 25. Humor: You can laugh at yourself and the ironies of life (P). 26. Justice: You are fair in your dealings with others (M). 27. Kindness/Love/Care: You have a deep regard and affection for others (M). 28. Love of Learning: You find joy in discovering new things (P). 29. Loyalty: You are faithful to your friends, family, and associates (M). 30. Moral Courage: You act in accordance with what you believe is right despite any risk or negative consequences to you or to others (M). 31. Moral Integrity: You act in accordance with what you judge to be right (M). 32. Motivation: You energize yourself to act (P). 33. Open-Mindedness: You are receptive to new ideas and thoughts (P). 34. Optimism: You generate strong belief and faith in a positive future (P). 35. Organization: You are orderly (P). 36. Patience: You accept imperfections in others (M). 37. Personal Courage: You act in accordance with what you believe is the right thing to do despite any risks or negative consequences to you (P). 38. Positivity: You view the world through the eyes of opportunity rather than survival (P). 39. Prudence: You exercise good judgment (P). 40. Punctuality: You honor time commitments (P). 41. Resiliency: You bounce back from disappointment or loss (P). 42. Respect: You treat everyone with dignity (M). 43. Seeking Challenges: You constantly look for ways to expand current limits by stepping outside your comfort zone (P). 44. Self-Awareness: You have reality-based perceptions of yourself (P). 45. Self-Control/Willpower: You mobilize the necessary energy to exercise restraint over your impulses, desires, and emotions, and to fulfill your intentions (P). 46. Tough-Mindedness/Mental Toughness: You control your thoughts; you are mentally strong and focused (P). 47. Trust: You believe in the basic goodness of others (M). 48. Truthfulness: You accurately report events and facts as you know them (M). 49. Vitality/Vigor: You feel energetic; you feel enthusiasm for life (P). 50. Wisdom: You formulate insights into the deeper meaning of life (P).

APPENDIX B: FORCES AND FACTORS THAT MAY CORRUPT YOUR MORAL REASONING AND JUDGMENT The more uncertain and uninformed you are, the more susceptible you are to influence. You are more likely to change beliefs when those beliefs and attitudes are not based on your personal experience. The more informed you are of relevant and necessary facts, the more you can resist outside influence to alter or change your moral thinking and attitudes. Not understanding why you hold certain beliefs makes you more vulnerable to influence. An important distinction must be made between belief and knowledge. Belief is something not immediately susceptible to verification. Knowledge is something based on verifiable facts. Beliefs often masquerade as knowledge. Indoctrination by others is accelerated when you are dependent on the indoctrinator (strong dependency ties) in some way, and when the indoctrinator is able to restrict information flow so that conflicting messages are kept to an absolute minimum. Your need for conformity and obedience can cause you to become an agent in destructive processes. Large breaches in ethics often begin by allowing a very small infraction that doesn’t seem to be all that important or serious at the time. Behavior that is inappropriate or unthinkable in your value system may be executed without hesitation when carried out under orders. Your psychological need to be obedient and respect authority can completely override personal ethics and moral conduct. You are much more willing to be part of something that is against your personal ethics if you are only one of many people involved. The ethical dilemma is diminished because the part you play in the overall scheme appears so small. The power of culture to undermine your valued moral code is real and undeniable. When rules have been set that are not consistent with your personal ethics, you have great difficulty disobeying them unless you have considerable peer support. One dissenter is often sufficient for you to reveal your contrary positions. You often change your behavior to achieve social approval. Group pressure to conform can precipitate significant behavior change. When you are part of a crowd witnessing something clearly wrong or unjust, not acting can become the socially acceptable thing to do. When you have committed yourself to a particular position, even though the attachment was not that strong in the first place, all too often you will increase your commitment when your position is attacked or challenged (“boomerang effect”). When coerced, you may adopt the very behavior and beliefs forced upon you so you can believe you are in control – that it was your choice. You can create justification for holding two inconsistent beliefs by tailoring an expedient story that reduces the cognitive dissonance. The more insecure you are about who you are and what you believe, the more likely it is that you can be persuaded to assume the beliefs of those around you. The more normal a situation is made to appear, the more vulnerable you are to influence and deception. You have no reason to summon your critical voice. Accepting the premise that another person is more powerful, more competent, and more in control than you affords that person greater opportunity for influence. Powerful social forces can be generated for you to align your thinking with the majority to achieve unanimity of thought with those around you. The social force to achieve unanimity can cause you to completely overlook opposing arguments. This often happens in unanimous resolutions in the U.S. Congress. Extreme experience of emotion – such as elation, joy, love, excitement – can make you more susceptible to influence. The illusion of invulnerability serves only to increase the ease with which you can be controlled.

BUILDING YOUR PERSONAL CREDO (Days 1–90) Day 1 What are the major themes in your life story thus far – such as overcoming obstacles, driven to succeed, fear of failure, negative private voice, never give up, low self-esteem, and so on?1 Day 2 What chapter headings best organize your life story thus far – such as “Overcoming Early Failure,” “Building Confidence Through Sports,” “Marrying Early,” “How Parenthood Changed My View of the World,” “My Academic Struggles,” and so on? Day 3 What are the six words that best describe the reality of your life thus far (e.g., determination, gratitude, driven, sacrifice, struggle, family)? Explain. Days 4–5 What is the trajectory of your life story in the following areas? Is it getting better or worse? Health (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) Happiness Family Leadership at work Personal fulfillment Moral character Days 4–5 continued Days 6–7 Write a synopsis of your life story up to the present day. Capture the most important themes and weave them together in a meaningful way. Days 6–7 continued

Day 8 List eight words that most accurately describe you at your best – when you are most proud of yourself. Day 9 List eight words that most accurately describe you at your worst – when you are least proud of yourself. Day 10 Write about your best moral self and character. Give real-life examples of when you have been most proud of yourself by demonstrating traits such as courage, integrity, honesty, empathy, kindness, and so on. Day 11 Write about your worst moral self and character. Give real-life examples of when you have been least proud of yourself and failed to demonstrate strong integrity, honesty, compassion, kindness, and so on. Day 12 What are the greatest barriers to being your best moral self? For example, what factors, situations, motivators, or character traits may get in the way? Day 13 What are your good and bad moral habits (e.g., compassionate with those who are less fortunate, thoughtful and reflective before responding or passing judgment, impatience when tired, not fully engaged with family when under stress, dismissal of others who don’t support your beliefs or agenda, tempted to disregard rules or policies when they don’t work in your favor)? Days 14–15 Write your moral life story to date. Include triumphs and failures. Days 14–15 continued Day 16 Reflect on whether you are more of a giver or taker, more selfless or selfish. Give examples. Day 17 Where have your categories of thinking and believing become so hardened that they may compromise your ability to listen, to be rational, to tolerate other people’s opinions (about, for example, politics, ideology, religion, and so on)? Where are you most inflexible? Day 18 Who must you forgive to unburden yourself of that unneeded weight? Write a sample letter to that person. Day 19 Read the previous 18 days of writing. Summarize your most important insights. (Note this will likely take longer than 10 minutes.) Day 20 Five-minute gratitude writing exercise: Write all the things you are grateful for in your life. Five-minute kindness meditation: Picture the face of someone who is exceptionally kind to you. Feel their kindness inside you. Day 21 What is the meaning of life for you? Day 22 What are your core beliefs about how to discern between right and wrong, and what are standards and vetting mechanisms you use to make decisions around right and wrong? Include any gray areas or times when you may flex or loosen these standards to justify your decisions or behavior or meet your personal desires. Day 23 What are your most cherished values? Why?

Day 24 What is your Ultimate Mission – in other words, your grand reason for living? Day 25 Seven-minute gratitude writing exercise: Write all the things you are grateful for in your life. List things you did not mention on Day 20. Take three minutes to commit to two acts of kindness in the next seven days. Day 26 Discuss your Performance Character assets (Performance Muscle strengths). See Appendix A for a list. Day 27 Describe your Moral Character assets (Moral Muscle strengths). See Appendix A for a list. Day 28 Describe your Performance Character deficiencies (Performance Muscle weaknesses). Day 29 Describe your Moral Character deficiencies (Moral Muscle weaknesses). Day 30 What is your true character at home and at work? Day 31 Name two people who are leaving a brilliant legacy. Explain your choices. Day 32 Name two people who possess the highest possible moral character. Explain your choices. Days 33–34 Who are your real-life heroes? Explain why. What strengths are common to your choices of the previous few days (brilliant legacy, highest moral character)? Would you like to make someone’s list? Whose? If you have children, what would it mean to you to make their list? Did either of your parents make your list? Why and how did they make it? What did it mean to your life? Days 33–34 continued Day 35 Why are you here? What value does life hold for you? What is a successful life for you? Day 36 To what extent do your habits of eating, drinking, sleeping, and exercising compromise your ability to be your Best Moral Self? Days 37–38 Write your tombstone epitaph. How do you want to be remembered when you are gone? Days 37–38 continued Days 39–40 Write your eulogy. Days 39–40 continued Day 41 What is the truth about your kindness at work and at home? What is the difference between being kind and being nice? Day 42 Compassion is feeling the suffering and pain of others combined with a sincere caring for them as a person. Compassion compels action to do something about someone’s suffering. (Compassion is more than kindness: It is kindness plus caring.)

What is the truth about your compassion toward others both at work and at home? How important is it to you? Day 43 Read your writings from Days 20–42. What are your reactions? What are the important takeaways? This exercise will take more than 10 minutes. Day 44 Do a compassion meditation for 10 minutes. Think of someone you know who is suffering. Put yourself in their shoes and try to feel genuine compassion for them. Day 45 Write your Ultimate Mission again – from memory. After writing it, go back to Day 24 and compare the two. Day 46 The epicenter of your life story is your Ultimate Mission. Refer to your writings on Days 6–7. Does the synopsis of your life story reflect your Ultimate Mission? Days 47–48 Write about your future life story with your core beliefs, core values, and Ultimate Mission deeply embedded in the writing. Days 47–48 continued Day 49 What are you chasing? Why? Is the chase aligned with your deepest values and Ultimate Mission? Day 50 Who have you become as a consequence of whatever you are chasing (e.g., achievement, fame, financial gain, love, pleasure, etc.)? A stronger, better person or one who sometimes loses touch with what matters most? A more confident, purpose-driven leader who demonstrates strong moral and ethical character or one who is just going through the motions and willing to compromise values to achieve business or personal goals? A happier, more loving spouse, partner, parent, friend – or one who is sacrificing important personal relationships? Day 51 What were you chasing in your teenage years? How about in young adulthood? How has it changed today? Day 52 What “scorecard” have you been using to determine your self-worth, success, and so on? To what extent has money, fame, titles, external achievements, and so on, factored into your assessments? Day 53 Are your energy investments on a daily, weekly, monthly basis aligned with your core values and Ultimate Mission? Days 54–56 For the next three days, turn your awareness inward to the tone and content of your Private Voice. On Day 54, give your general observations about how you speak to yourself. Is the voice warm, critical, wise, helpful, supportive, brutal, jaded, and so on? Would you be proud to make its message and tone public? Whose voice from your past does it most reflect? Would you want to speak to people you care about the way your Private Voice speaks to you? Day 55 Write from memory how your Inner Voice spoke to you throughout the previous day (Day 54) … Day 56 Do the same thing as you did for Day 55. Reflect on the tone and message of the way you coach yourself. Day 57 Would you want those you care most about to have your Inner Voice inside their heads? What would you want the tone and message of their Inner Voice to be? Day 58 How important is your Private Voice to your quest to live the highest moral life possible? To what extent should character strengths be applied to your inner coaching voice? Day 59 To what extent are your Public and Private Voices fully aligned in tone and message? Write about your authenticity. Are your Public and Private Voices very different? Day 60 To what extent does your Private Voice reflect your core values and Ultimate Mission in life? How important is this issue? How important are the tone and content of your Private Voice to your ability to lead with character?2 Day 61 Review your writings from Days 43–60 and summarize the most important takeaways. Day 62 For two minutes, meditate on your breathing in and breathing out. If your mind wanders, very gently bring it back to your breathing. For eight minutes, write one thank-you letter and send it in the next three days. Day 63 What is the truth about the strength of your integrity muscle? To what extent do you act on what you determine is the right thing for you? Give examples from the last several days of how you have exercised your muscle of integrity. Day 64 Who are the people who have hurt you the most? Do you still hold a grudge? What advantages does holding a grudge bring to you? How does your Best Moral Self advise you? Day 65 What is the truth about the strength of your patience muscle? Who do you show the most impatience with? Are they people you care about the most? What does it feel like when people you care about are impatient with you? When people are impatient with you, does it help or hurt your confidence? Day 66 Go to Appendix B and complete the forced ranking of 12 moral character traits. What are your self-acknowledged top strengths and weaknesses? Days 67–68 Develop a plan for growing your two weakest character muscles (which were identified in yesterday’s forced-ranking questionnaire). Days 67–68 continued Days 69–70 How honest and trustworthy are you? Do you always tell the truth? Keep track of how many partial or full falsehoods you have spoken in the last two days. Explain your reasons. Do you believe it’s okay to tell “white lies”? Days 69–70 continued Day 71 Empathy is the capacity to put yourself i

How you intend to keep score going forward Share and discuss your Personal Credo with someone you love. Construct a scorecard to measure how you are doing. It can be as simple or complex as you want it to be. Just make sure to record what you do or fail to do on a daily basis. The loading of this document into your moral operating system and building habits to support it will occur in Days 91–150. You will use the same 10-minute daily journal writing to accomplish both of these.3 Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Days 82–89 continued Day 90 Commit to using your Personal Credo to navigate through the countless moral challenges you will face in the future. Your pledge to do so is acknowledged with your signature. _____________________________ _________________________ Signature Date

EMBEDDING YOUR PERSONAL CREDO AND SUPPORTING IT WITH HABITS (Days 91–150) Most of life is controlled by habit, and clearly human beings are creatures of habit. The next 59 days of writing and energy investment are designed to further strengthen the critical habits that will enable you to be your best moral self and the person you most desire to be. The more energy investments and the more precise the investments in things like kindness, humility, integrity, and so on, the more available they will be to you. Robust strengths of character – both performance and moral – form the bedrock of your Personal Credo. The intentional investment of your time and energy over the next four weeks will provide an unparalleled return in your efforts to lead with character in all dimensions of your life, and to achieve your desired life and leadership legacy. Day 91 Has journal writing for 10 minutes a day become a habit for you? How do you know? Using the same formula, map out a new habit you would like to build in support of your Personal Credo. Day 92 Select a trigger word or image that will call forth your Personal Credo whenever you are confronted with an ethical situation. For me, it’s the voice of my mother saying, “Do the right thing.” My mother was the personification of goodness to me. I’ve conditioned her words to immediately summon my Personal Credo. – Dr. Jim Loehr

Rehearse using your trigger word or image in each of the following situations: You’re tempted to (1) cheat on something; (2) tell a lie; (3) be rude or dismissive to someone. Day 93 Memorize the following moral deliberation process called FHGD: Step 1: What are the facts (F)? Step 2: What does your heart (H) say? Step 3: What does your gut (G) say? Step 4: Make your decision (D) based on these data points. Apply these four steps to an ethical situation you’re now facing. Write your answers in your journal to all four steps. Day 94 Practice projecting the worst possible consequence of a moral action compared to the best possible consequence. This reflection can provide critical input into your moral deliberation. Project the worst and best consequences for each of the following scenarios: Consistently speeding 20+ mph over the posted limit Having an affair Strategically inflating your expense report Exaggerating the truth in your storytelling to garner support for your project Day 95 Write your Personal Credo from memory. What is your trigger word or image that best calls your Credo forward? Day 96 For five minutes, do a kindness meditation. While breathing slowly and deeply, imagine displaying kindness to everyone you meet. For five minutes, do a gratitude exercise by writing all the small things in life you are grateful for. Day 97 Integrity is doing what you judge to be the right and honorable thing. It represents 50% of our morality. Give three examples from this past week of how you acted with integrity – or decidedly did not act that way. Day 98 Your spouse/life partner asks you if you went out for a beer with colleagues after a long day at a conference. Your spouse/partner is terribly jealous. If you tell him/her the truth, it will likely result in a big crisis and lots of wasted time and energy. Use the four steps in FHGD to decide. Write out your answer to all the steps. According to your Credo, what should you do? Day 99 You witnessed a colleague clearly violating an important company safety policy. This person is a close friend. Should you report the incident? There will likely be serious consequences for the violation. Would you act differently if you had a strong dislike for the person? Consider the following: Use your trigger word or image and summon your Personal Credo. Answer the four questions in FHGD (Facts, Heart, Gut, Decide). Project best and worst consequences. Put your thoughts and decision in writing. Day 100 Read everything you have written for Days 91–99. Write about your thoughts and feelings from the reading.

Day 101 Reflect on whether you are more of a “giver” or “taker” in life. Complete the questionnaire in Appendix C. Count the number of boxes checked on the giver side and compare that with those checked on the taker side. Leading with character requires that you check off more than 13 or more boxes on the giver side. Does your total box count align with how you see yourself? With your gut response? With your “crap detector”? Return to the boxes checked on the taker side and do some soulful reflection. Day 102 Review your responses to the Giver versus Taker questionnaire and write about any improvements you would consider making. Day 103 Justice Louis D. Brandeis once made the statement, “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants.” Where in your character do you need more sunlight to shine through? In other words, where in your character do you need a good dose of “face-the-truth”? Let sunlight in by writing about it. Day 104 Give an example from your life where your moral “crap detector” failed you. Give an example of when it worked perfectly. Do you sense this asset is sharpening and strengthening from your journal writing?

Day 105 Reflect on the extent to which the message and tone of your Private Voice is aligned with your Best Moral Self and Personal Credo. To what extent is your character revealed in the silent language of your Inner Voice? Day 106 Give examples of how your Private Voice both supports and compromises your efforts to be your Best Moral Self and to lead with character. Day 107 Make a list of positive habits you would like to acquire that would enable you to more fully live your Personal Credo. Examples might include saying “stop” to yourself every time you start to say or do something not aligned with your credo; saying “fully present” when with your children to stimulate higher levels of engagement; or saying “no spinning” to prompt you to more fully align your storytelling with the truth. Day 108 Choose one habit from the list you made on Day 107 and initiate the habit acquisition process. Apply H = PTR3 . Write your plan out in detail. (Remember: Full habit formation typically takes from 20 to 60 days.) Day 109 Apply what you have learned to the following moral dilemma: You believe the tactics your business team is planning to employ to gain market share crosses ethical lines. Raising an ethical concern could have real consequences in your being promoted; you might even get terminated. How should you respond? Write about the process you will use to make your decision. Day 110 An important step to prevent our moral judgment from being hijacked is to recognize when we block or disregard information contrary to the outcome we really want (“motivated reasoning”). It happens constantly in politics. Facts are distorted, bent, altered, or ignored to support a political position. Give two examples in your past of how you justified a moral decision using motivated reasoning.

Day 111 Meditate for five minutes. For the first two, focus on your breathing in and out. When your mind wanders, bring your attention back gently to your breathing. For the next three minutes, continue your meditation but focus on compassion. Picture the face of someone who has shown great compassion for you. Attempt to feel compassion for those you know are suffering. Spend five minutes writing about your capacity for compassion and the extent to which you would like your capacity expanded. Day 112 Consider this: You are married with three young children. You are asked to make an overnight trip with a colleague who is also married with children. At dinner, unexpectedly, romantic sparks fly in both directions. You invite her to your room to pick up some papers and she responds that she would be happy to get the papers but is hopeful there will be much more. She then says, “No one will ever know.” You are tempted. You have only seconds to respond. Provide your moral decision-making process in writing. To what extent do trigger words and images, risk/reward consequences, and Personal Credo values help in your instant decision? Day 113 Confidence and humility must be properly balanced. Too much confidence without humility breeds arrogance; too much humility without confidence breeds insecurity. What is the truth about the balance of these two character muscles for you? From what you’ve learned, how would you build strength in confidence? How would you build strength in humility? Day 114 A direct report has been struggling with family problems for six months. His work performance has seriously suffered. You’ve had several conversations with him about this. One of his children has a serious illness, and he lost both of his parents in a car crash. Should you find a replacement for him? Your boss is putting pressure on you to do something. Use the four-step FHGD process to make your decision. Is it fully aligned with your Personal Credo? Day 115 Consider your worst moral failures. In retrospect, what was the flawed process that allowed these to occur? What changes must occur in you so that they never happen again? Day 116 You find yourself tempted to omit a critical piece of information from your report because it could be a big embarrassment to your boss. The report is due tomorrow. Ignite your Personal Credo with your trigger word or image. Do the risk/reward analysis. Make your decision. Day 117 Imagine one or two moral dilemmas you are likely to face soon. Apply to each what you have learned and write about how you should resolve each. Day 118 A jealous colleague makes a snide comment about your political beliefs in a staff meeting in front of the entire division. You are embarrassed and angry. How should your Best Moral Self handle this? Day 119 The character strength that balances love/empathy is tough-mindedness. Reflect first on your capacity for loving others. Next reflect on your capacity to feel empathy – to feel and think the way others do. Last, reflect on when and how you display tough-mindedness. Which of the three muscles needs to be strengthened most? From what you have learned, how would you strengthen that character muscle? Day 120 Read everything you have written for Days 101–119. Summarize your thoughts and feelings. Day 121 If you have strong religious beliefs, does your Personal Credo reflect them? Write about your religious thoughts, feelings, and values. How accepting are you of the religious beliefs of others, particularly when those beliefs are not aligned with yours? Day 122 You’ve been asked to downsize your department by 20% to make year-end numbers. You strongly believe it is an unethical thing to do. If you balk at all, you will likely be replaced as part of the downsizing because some already perceive you as soft. Should you make your case and risk losing your job? You are to announce the shakeup to your department in five days. Write about your decision-making process. Include the following things: Activate the trigger word or image that calls forth your Personal Credo. Analyze from your credo perspective. Analyze using FHGD. Analyze using risk/reward consequences. Make your decision. Day 123 For five minutes, do a loving/kindness meditation. Picture the face of the person who has been the most loving, most kind person to you in your life. Feel the love and kindness inside you. For five minutes, write about the experience. Day 124 Your boss makes you feel inadequate and incompetent. You have always had trouble with strong, aggressive authority figures. You strongly resent your boss for all the misery and discomfort he puts you through. You love the firm you work for and don’t want to quit. What’s the morally right thing for you to do? What does your credo say? Day 125 Write about any positive changes that have occurred in your life as a result of your daily journal writing for the last 124 days. Has your treatment of others improved in any way? Are you beginning to feel better pr

Day 149 List the most important insights you have gained from the 150-day training program so far. Visualize each of the insights being implemented in your life. Day 150 Congratulations! You have completed 25 hours over five months of training to strengthen your ability to lead with character. The hope is that you will continue some form of this training on a regular basis for the rest of your life. The stakes are too high for you and everyone around you. Write any new and important commitments you are willing to make going forward. When finished, sign your name below and date it. _____________________________ _________________________ Signature Date

APPENDIX A: CHARACTER TRAITS Every one of these character strengths – either performance strengths (P) or moral strengths (M) – is an acquired disposition. Adaptability: You adjust well to changing conditions (performance strength (P)). Adventurous Spirit: You seek exciting challenges for personal exploration (P). Affection: You openly show warmth and caring toward others (moral strength (M)). Ambition: You are goal-oriented and goal-directed (P). Authenticity: Your Public and Private Voices are aligned; you are genuine (M). Compassion: You feel a deep, abiding concern for the suffering of others, combined with the aspiration to do something to relieve it (M). Competitiveness: You enjoy pitting your skills against the skills of others (P). Confidence: You believe in your abilities (P). Creativity: You generate original, spontaneous thinking and solutions (P). Critical Thinking: You think in a reality-based way (P). Curiosity: You are inquisitive; you want to understand how things work (P). Decisiveness: You make definitive choices (P). Dependability: You can be counted on to meet your commitments (M). Determination/Persistence/Grit: You rally your strength of will to overcome obstacles; you refuse to give up (P). Discernment: You seek the deeper causes of things (P). Empathy: You experience what others are thinking and feeling (M). Engagement with Others: You bring your full and best energy to the present moment in your interactions with others (M). Focus: You can control your attention (P). Forgiveness: You are able to clear the record for those who have harmed you (M). Fortitude: You fight relentlessly for what’s right (P). Generosity: You share whatever you have with others (M). Gratitude: You feel sincere appreciation for what you have (M). Honor: Your actions and decisions reflect the highest ethical standards (M). Humility: You are modest and highly aware of your shortcomings (M). Humor: You can laugh at yourself and the ironies of life (P). Justice: You are fair in your dealings with others (M). Kindness/Love/Care: You have a deep regard and affection for others (M). Love of Learning: You find joy in discovering new things (P). Loyalty: You are faithful to your friends, family, and associates (M). Moral Courage: You act in accordance with what you believe is right despite any risk or negative consequences to you or to others (M). Moral Integrity: You act in accordance with what you judge to be right (M). Motivation: You energize yourself to act (P). Open-Mindedness: You are receptive to new ideas and thoughts (P). Optimism: You generate strong belief and faith in a positive future (P). Organization: You are orderly (P). Patience: You accept imperfections in others (M). Personal Courage: You act in accordance with what you believe is the right thing to do despite any risks or negative consequences to you (P). Positivity: You view the world through the eyes of opportunity rather than survival (P). Prudence: You exercise good judgment (P). Punctuality: You honor time commitments (P). Resiliency: You bounce back from disappointment or loss (P). Respect: You treat everyone with dignity (M). Seeking Challenges: You constantly look for ways to expand current limits by stepping outside your comfort zone (P). Self-Awareness: You have reality-based perceptions of yourself (P). Self-Control/Willpower: You mobilize the necessary energy to exercise restraint over your impulses, desires, and emotions, and to fulfill your intentions (P). Tough-Mindedness/Mental Toughness: You control your thoughts; you are mentally strong and focused (P). Trust: You believe in the basic goodness of others (M). Truthfulness: You accurately report events and facts as you know them (M). Vitality/Vigor: You feel energetic; you feel enthusiasm for life (P). Wisdom: You formulate insights into the deeper meaning of life (P).

APPENDIX B: RANKING YOUR CHARACTER TRAITS How well do these 12 character traits/muscles “hold up” when you experience high stress – anger, fear, fatigue, pressure, low confidence, and so on? Order them as they relate to you, from weakest (1 – most likely to fail under stress) to strongest (12 – least likely). _________ Loving, kind, and caring (having a deep regard and affection for others) _________ Respect (treating everyone with dignity) _________ Patience (being tolerant of the imperfections of others) _________ Generosity (sharing whatever you have with others) _________ Gratitude (feeling sincere appreciation for what you have) _________ Humility (being modest and highly aware of your shortcomings) _________ Compassion (feeling a deep, abiding concern for the suffering of others, combined with the aspiration to do something to relieve it) _________ Truthfulness, honesty (reporting events and facts as accurately as you know them) _________ Trust (believing in the basic goodness of others) _________ Engagement (bringing your best energy to the present moment in your interactions with others) _________ Moral integrity (acting in accordance with what you judge to be “right”) _________ Authenticity (aligning your Public and Private Voice; genuineness)

Praise others Seek praise from others Comfortable expressing vulnerability Uncomfortable expressing vulnerability Encourage and invite input from others – pro and con Encourage and invite only positive input from others Seek collaboration Seek independence More people-centered More process-centered

APPENDIX C: GIVER VERSUS TAKER SCALE* Other-focused Self-focused Driven to help others succeed Driven to achieve personal success Compassion, kindness, empathy-directed Winning, power, money-directed Concerned about the impact you have on others Concerned about making a good impression on others Love to help others become better Love to find ways to help yourself become better Give energy to others Take energy from others Exude gratitude for all you have Never seem to be satisfied with what you have Love to mentor others Love to be mentored by others Welfare of others comes first Your welfare comes first Give credit when successful Take credit when successful Motivate others Motivate self Protect others Protect self Focus on who the employee is as a person first Focus on the employee’s contribution to the business first Give the spotlight away Love to be in the spotlight Praise others Seek praise from others Comfortable expressing vulnerability Uncomfortable expressing vulnerability Encourage and invite input from others – pro and con Encourage and invite only positive input from others Seek collaboration Seek independence More people-centered More process-centered Take the blame Blame others NOTE * The Giver versus Taker scale was constructed by the author from the writings of Adam Grant and others.