The Big Leap

by Gay Hendricks PhD

The problem: I have a limited tolerance for feeling good. When I hit my Upper Limit, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad. The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings, though: I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general. When I hit my Upper Limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into a conflict with my ex-wife, get into a money bind, or do something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance.

Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?

Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well?

Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?

In my life I’ve discovered that if I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them.

How much love and abundance am I willing to allow? How am I getting in my own way?

In the Zone of Genius, you cease to care about recognition or ostracism.

One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I’ve ever heard comes from Fritz Perls, MD, the psychiatrist and founder of Gestalt therapy. He said, “Fear is excitement without the breath.” Here’s what this intriguing statement means: the very same mechanisms that produce excitement also produce fear, and any fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully with it.

The goal in life is not to attain some imaginary ideal; it is to find and fully use our own gifts.

Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.

When we’re feeling good, we may come up against the hidden barrier of an old belief such as “I must not feel good, because fundamentally flawed people like me don’t deserve it.” The

Your capacity expands in small increments each time you consciously let yourself enjoy the money you have, the love you feel, and the creativity you are expressing in the world. As that capacity for enjoyment expands, so does your financial abundance, the love you feel, and the creativity you express.

All of us can find and nurture the capacity for positive feelings now, rather than waiting until some longed-for event occurs. If you focus for a moment, you can always find some place in you that feels good right now. Your task is to give the expanding positive feeling your full attention. When you do, you will find that it expands with your attention. Let yourself enjoy it as long as you possibly can.

The seductive comforts of success, though, can lull us into accepting the status quo. In that state of comfort, it’s easy to forget the deal you made with the universe to use yourself fully.

The Upper Limit Problem must be dis-solved, not solved. You dissolve it by shining a laserlike beam of awareness on its underpinnings—the false foundations that hold the Upper Limit Problem in place.

The Zone of Incompetence The Zone of Incompetence is made up of all the activities we’re not good at.

When you free yourself from this zone, you will be rewarded with a remarkable new feeling of energy and zest for living.

The Zone of Competence You’re competent at the activities in the Zone of Competence, but others can do them just as well.

The Zone of Excellence In the Zone of Excellence are the activities you do extremely well.

For successful people, this zone is a seductive and even dangerous trap. To remain in this zone is to hobble yourself from taking the leap into your Zone of Genius.

The Zone of Genius Liberating and expressing your natural genius is your ultimate path to success and life satisfaction.

Your Zone of Genius is the set of activities you are uniquely suited to do.

The Four Hidden Barriers all have something in common: although they seem true and real, they are based on beliefs about ourselves that are neither true nor real.

We take them as true and real until we shine awareness on them. Then the barriers dissolve, and we are free.

I cannot expand to my full potential because

I cannot enjoy abundant love and relationship harmony because

I cannot expand to my full wealth potential because _____ ____________________________________________________.

Hidden Barrier no. 1: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed